Category Archives: Texas

In which I continue to read Houston mayoral candidate Jack O’Connor’s blog

I suppose the ideal is that our elected officials should be picked from amongst our best and brightest. Thomas Jefferson was a polyglot, inventor, legal scholar (and rapist). Representative Rush Holt was the Assistant Director of the Princeton Plasma Physics Laboratory. Secretary of Energy Steven Chu won the Nobel Prize in Physics.

Of course, sometimes our best politicians are not geniuses. Often, it just takes a willing heart and solid disposition. But either way, politicians should demonstrate some level of excellence. Whether rabble rousers, story tellers, or grand compromisers, we should aspire for our elected officials to be the Best. To be Elite.

Given this general assumption about the ideal political candidates, I must posit a question: Where did Jack O’Connor get the idea that he should be mayor of Houston?

I don’t know.

But maybe if I keep reading his blog, I’ll get some sort of idea. After all, he did blog about me, Evan. So maybe he wrote about some other awesome topics.

One of his best entires so far: Restoring Courage

Do you remember Dwight Eisenhower? Many do not. He was the Supreme Commander of all Allied Forces liberating Europe from the Nazi Germany’s occupation. He was an American from the Midwest.

It was very nice of Jack O’Connor to let Gus, that third grade kid who is obsessed with World War II, post his language arts essay on Jack’s mayoral blog.

As the liberation gained momentum, the gruesome discoveries of the concentration camps unfolded where six million Jews were exterminated.

As any functioning adult with a complete education should know, the Jews were not the only victims of Nazi extermination. Gays, handicapped, Romani, and other targets of Nazi racism suffered in the concentration camps. Of course, we can’t expect Gus to know everything about World War II. He’s still learning and probably just mostly cares about the cool planes.

Those who survived the “Holocaust” were barely alive.

See, Gus is just learning about the Holocaust for the first time. This is all new to him. If anything, we should praise his intellectual curiosity about a such a pivotal historical event.

 I cannot adequately describe the horrors inflicted on the Jews here,

Oh Gus, you’re not inflicting any horrors on me here.

but take note of Eisenhower’s comments and orders following the liberation of these death camps. “Record what we have found…..take pictures …film ….and document everything we have discovered. Someday people will not believe this ever happened”.

It is really great that Gus is taking this matter to heart at such a young age. It is easy to become cynical about world events and ignore contemporary horrors. Let’s hope that Gus doesn’t go down that path.

Today, leaders in the Middle East such as Iran’s Aberdinajuan deny the holocaust ever took place.

Cut Gus some slack for that atrocious spelling of Ahmadinejad. He’s in third grade and doesn’t know you can just look up the proper spelling.

The Arab and Muslim nations that surround Israel want to destroy and eliminate the only democracy and true friend of America in the entire region.

Again, he’s in third grade. He doesn’t know that Turkey is a democracy and an ally. Heck, once he reaches high school, Gus could probably write a paper about the unintended consequences of democratic elections in the Middle East.

Restoring Courage, an effort organized by the 912 Committee and inspired by Glenn Beck, has taken to road in a worldwide effort to bring truth and courage back to our nation and others in defense of our common heritage and commitment to Israel where Freedom, Responsibility, Human rights, and Justice are reality and not lip service.

Aw Gus! Come on, kid. You’re in third grade. You’re too young to get drawn into this sort of rodeo-clown pseudo-pundit nonsense. You don’t get that just because an adult writes something doesn’t necessarily mean that you should accept all of it. Learn some more so you can have a healthy skepticism towards political charlatans.

Even our President has wavered in the support of Israel which has emboldened its enemies. It is time to restore our courage and stand up to those who want to bring down Israel.

So young and naive. Reading something on some website and then swallowing it whole. Hopefully, Gus will get a good education and eventually learn to ask for facts or sources that back these claims about the President’s policy. Heck, with a proper education, Gus would learn that the Israeli people themselves are anything but uniform in their preferred policy, but you wouldn’t say that Israelis want to bring down the own country for opposing the Likud party.

Some of you may not know many Jews.

Oh Gus. I guess it is totally possible that you view we Jews as some exotic or rare group. After all, you’re only in third grade.

Besides sharing the Old Testament with us, their faith and culture has produced some of the finest individuals on earth whose contributions to science and the humanity have lessened the suffering of many.

One day Gus, when you’re older, you will learn about objectifying demographic groups. You will learn that Judaism’s attitude towards the Old Testament is very different than Christianity’s. But you’re only in third grade, so we should let this slide.

I know this as I grew up in New York where the Jewish population exceeded that of Israel.

Wait… grew up in New York. I mean, I guess in third grade sometimes you feel like you’ve already gone through a lot. But “grew up.” That’s more like something that a old businessman would say. And, uh… according to his bio, Jack O’Connor went to college in New York. Could it be that this third grade wide-eyed and naive, but noble attempt at a blog entry was actually a failed businessman’s pathetic regurgitation of platitudinal nonsense?

Their strong sense of family and conscience have had a very positive influence in the communities they live in.

Jack O’Connor apparently has not met my family.

There is something going very wrong with the abandonment of Israel by the west.

What abandonment?

Join those who believe Israel needs our friendship and loyalty……..and have the courage to stand up to those who seek to exterminate the Jews.

Who seeks to exterminate the Jews? And who should we join? I, for one, recommend you join J Street, a pro-Israel pro-Peace PAC. So how about this little deal: Jack O’Connor will stop trying to insert himself into matters he does not understand and he will stop looking like he has the intellectual capacity of an elementary school student.

Apparently Houston mayoral candidate Jack O’Connor wrote me a letter?

Jack O’Connor, who is running for mayor of Houston while also getting regular business acting as Bad Guy Businessman #2 (the only explanation I can muster for the mustache) wrote an entry on his blog titled: “A Message to the Liberal Bloggers of Houston.”

And then Air Bud and the Buddy Puppies knocked over the ladder, spilling the bucket of sludge all over Jack O'Connor. It was the very sludge that his factory was going to produce! But luckily they stopped him just in time and saved the doggie park that the town so enjoyed.

I write in this blog, so I suppose that makes me a blogger. And I support gay marriage, progressive taxation, public option health care, and taxing pollution, etc. I suppose that makes me liberal. So by that logic, I am a liberal blogger. Therefore, Jack wrote that entry specifically for me, comma, Evan. And no one else. Given that Jacky Boy and his Mustache are giving me all this personal attention, it would be rude to not respond in kind. On my liberal blog.

First, Jack President-of-a-Company-I’m-Pretty-Sure-Doesn’t-Have-A-Website O’Connor opened with a compliment:

You appear to have good intentions in bringing the liberal segment of our population the news and opinion they want.

… he wrote in a clunky and stilted style not unlike that of an alien grasping at our hew-mon ways.

Aw, thanks Jack Who-Reported-No-Total-Fundraising-On-His-30-Day-Report O’Connor. I had no idea you read my blog. What did you think of my summer adventures hunting the Rice Cryptid? Now that was news and opinion that the liberal segment of our population wanted!

But while I hoped that the letter would be nothing but the awkward opening compliments, it quickly turned to shaming and criticism, much like many a teachers’ report card comments.

It is unfortunate that you leave out information that is important to private citizens and businesses alike because it may impact those people you support.

Jack I-Haven’t-Raised-Enough-Money-To-Afford-Commas O’Connor makes a pointed criticism. I just wish I knew what exactly it is that I’m leaving out. Have I not followed up on whether Rice sports are unquestionably superior to University of Houston sports, explaining why UH is running away to the Big East, hoping to avoid any confrontation with the mighty Rice Owls?

No, that couldn’t possibly be it. Then what, Jack? What am I leaving out?

Have you considered what happens if the Houston City government becomes insolvent.

I think the better question is: “Have you considered not voting for someone based solely on his inability to end a sentence with proper punctuation?” Because the answer is yes.

In Nassau County New York, Jefferson County Alabama (Birmingham) among a number of other metropolitan areas with large populations the state governments have had to takeover their finances.

Now, I’m not the best writer in the world. Heck, probably not even fifth best. But Jack I-Need-Some-Remedial-Education-In-Writing O’Connor needs some remedial education in writing.

We may not be quite be at that point yet but some think we are.

Who thinks we are?

 In the mid 1970′s New York City had to accept a large amount of cash from the Teachers Union Pension Fund to avoid default and it took that city 10 years to recover. We are borrowing from our government workers pensions now. You can be pro union but not want the unions to be our city bankers.

No, we would never want to be like New York City. That place is a real shithole. Also, the apostrophe in “1970s” is unnecessary.

Oddly enough, after seeming to start a conversation about the budget and city finances, Jack jumps to the topic of Metro and Metrorail.

I am for the best public transportation possible but the cost and scope of the proposition we voted for early in the last decade has changed dramatically.

How has it changed?

The resistance of the Mayor and those connected to the light rail to questioning the wisdom of those changes and the costs increasing fourfold is unhealthy.

I’m not entirely sure what Jack Forcing-Me-To-Diagram-Sentences O’Connor is trying to say here.

Anyone who questions is attacked.

Who was attacked? When were they attacked? Who did the attacking? This is juicy stuff! I feel like the guy yelling questions in the movie theater. Hopefully Jack The-Suspense-Is-Killing-Me O’Connor will tie up all the loose ends in a fantastic literary climax.

There is a requirement for a new proposition to be on the ballot in 2012. It will address the stipulation in the original proposition in how much Metro gets from the city( 1% of the total revenue).

You know you can go back and change spacing mistakes, right? WordPress has an edit function.

Under the Law Metro is required to refund 25% of those revenues to the City’s infrastructure fund.

If you are going to capitalize “Law,” you might as well do the same for “The” preceding it. Also, put it in bold why not?

Metro owes the city approx 100 million dollars for this purpose. Metro is keeping it so can raise its bond capacity (more borrowing). The Drainage Fee (Rebuild Houston) was born out of Metro shorting the city.

I’m not sure where Jack I-Don’t-Know-How-Parentheses-Work O’Connor gets these approx numbers. But it sure would be nice if he could back these claims with sources.

Is this mismanagement or a contrived money grab. I think both.

Jack Speak-To-Me-After-Class-You-Need-To-Do-A-Rewrite O’Connor is an actual, factual grownup. He has a mustache and everything! He is running for mayor of the fourth largest city in the United States. There is no reason to think his campaign is a joke. According to his website, he graduated from Queens College. But for some reason, yet again, he does not end a question with a question mark.

Is this poor copy editing or sheer ignorance. I think both?

Your blog should include some of these issues whether you dispute them or not.

Whether I dispute them? What does that mean, exactly? And the only issues Jack Actual-Candidate-For-Mayor O’Connor raises concern the city budget and Metrorail. But despite these big-ticket issues, he raises no specifics, cites no documents, and offers no solution.

The Light Rail plans will cause gridlock in areas and we all know what happened during our Super Bowl with the Main Street line.

Which areas? And no, I don’t know what happened. But a simple Google search revealed an archive of columns in reaction to the day, none of which note any problems with the Main Street line. In fact, the only mention was from John Gallagher, the Detroit Free Press Architecture Critic, who noted: “Houston also has just opened a new light-rail system known as the METRORail that adds to the mix in unexpectedly helpful ways. The rail line runs along Main Street, and the stations and related public artwork fill in the middle of what otherwise had been just another five-lane thoroughfare. The result: A livelier, denser, more crowded urban scene.”

But whatever. No need to cite anything to back up your claims. Making good arguments and convincing people are not necessary skills for a good mayor.

We need another independent look about where we go from here.

OK. Except they’re already in the middle of construction on rail expansion. Furthermore, Jacky Boy doesn’t exactly express what is wrong with Metro and Metrorail besides the claim that it is spending too much money. His website’s “Issues” page doesn’t state anything about Metro. I guess he expects liberal bloggers to tackle the job instead.

I suggest you broaden your purview and opinion to keep your liberal audience more informed.

So fewer dick jokes?

I do not know you but I know where you are coming from.

You do? Where? From where am I coming?

That is OK if you are able to look at the bigger picture as well.

What is OK? “That” is lacking an antecedent. Is he saying it is OK  that he doesn’t know me but knows where I’m coming from? I’m not sure.

In conclusion, in 2010 Jack O’Connor ran for the State House and was endorsed by Young Conservatives of Texas, Empower Texans PAC/Texans for Fiscal Responsibility. Each of which is an actual, real, political organization.

Now, he is running for mayor of Houston. And judging from his open letter to liberal bloggers (especially me, Evan) he failed his middle school language arts classes.

Jack O’Connor is a hilarious joke and I hope to keep writing about him, his doomed candidacy, and his middle school blog.

Why Houston should care about Elizabeth Warren

Outside of the Occupy Wall Street protests, and their related spinoffs, the Democratic Wing of the Democratic Party carries on in the more traditional realm of politics. The current cause celebre? Elizabeth Warren’s campaign for Senate.

Beyond the “Dumb hunk Republican vs. Elitist Harvard Democrat” media frame that pundits are sure will dominate the race, yet will not take steps to stop, Warren should attract special attention from Houstonians. After all, this woman is not just chair of the Congressional Oversight Panel created to oversee the U.S. banking bailout or the author more than 100 scholarly articles and six academic books, or whatever.

She is also a graduate of the University of Houston.

It hurts this Rice graduate to heap such praise upon Cougar, but Warren seems to be the only Democrat out there with the ability or will to clearly and succinctly state the argument against the pseudo-Randian, eat the poor mindset the dominates the Republican party these days.

There is no one in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody.

I hear all this, oh this is class warfare, no! There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own. Nobody.  You built a factory out there — good for you. But I want to be clear.  You moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for.  You hired workers the rest of us paid to educate.  You were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. You didn’t have to worry that maurauding bands would come and seize everything at your factory… Now look.  You built a factory and it turned into something terrific or a great idea — God Bless! Keep a Big Hunk of it.  But part of the underlying social contract is you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.

And that’s the point. We’re capitalists and we want the system to work. Right now, it isn’t working. It is simple, to the point, and for some reason completely missing from political dialogue. And it is coming from a UH graduate.

Now, Massachusetts is going to have a Democratic Senator sooner rather than later. And it would be nice of that Democrat were Elizabeth Warren. No matter one’s political orientation, University of Houston boosters should want one of the hundred US senators to be from that rising institution. A Senator is a fantastic piece of PR. Plus, an alumna in a high government location can help direct grants and contracts towards a university that otherwise would be overlooked.

Furthermore, it would only benefit Houston as a whole to have someone else in the Senate who understands what it is like to live in our impressive sprawl of a city. After all, not every city is like the Boston-NYC-DC corridor.

So if you want to see a Cougar in the Senate, or merely a Senator who can provide appropriate counterbalance to the off-the-cliff perspective of the current Republican Party,  send some money to her campaign.

A hint of sanity at Occupy Houston

Yesterday was Occupy Houston’s first big march. Of course, I wonder why they chose Thursday morning, when potential supporters were at work. But whatever. So while I missed the march from Market Square to Chase Bank, I was able to meet up with the protest at City Hall. Admittedly, protesting City Hall doesn’t seem to make much sense. Local government isn’t really the problem here. However, City Hall does have a big grassy field in front of it, which does have a history of letting people sleep there. So it makes sense from that perspective.

So anyways, Dean and I took in the sights and signs. Dishearteningly, the first thing I saw was a group of protesters holding Ron Paul 2012 and End the Fed signs.

As Dean and I walked around, the crazy continued to stand out from the crowd. For example, there was the woman with the anti-contrails t-shirt. Because airplanes are spraying chemicals, rather than condensation.

And what's the deal with government conspiracy airline food?

This walking (sitting) cliche was one among many. Of course, the best was the Ayn Rand guy. Imagine to yourself, but for a brief moment, what your average Ayn Rand believer looks like. (Alan Greenspan doesn’t count.) Because he was there!

No one was listening to this guy self-wank it

It does seem someone contradictory for this true Ubermench to be espousing utter and complete selfishness and self-interest among a crowd condemning corporate greed, but maybe that’s the point? Maybe he was trying to convert people? Alas, I didn’t ask. #worldsworstjournalist

Indeed, the Ron Paul, Ayn Rand, anti-federal government pro-annoying theme wouldn’t be complete without a bunch of Alan Moore fans.

I mean, I liked that movie, too. But I'm not going to shave my head and makeout with Mila Kunis

And if I knew wearing my League of Extraordinary Gentlemen shirt would make a difference, I would have bought one.

Amongst the crazy crowds, however, were the signs. Which were all lying in front of City Hall. I assume that after the march through downtown, people put all their signs in front of City Hall because they’re too tired to carry them or for aesthetic purposes or something.

However, it was these signs that had the most cohesive message. Most related to government putting interests of the top 1% ahead of he other 99%. Some were about student debt. Others were about unemployment. A few were about tax rates and sources of the national debt. But the overall sense was one of, well, sanity at least.

For people who are confused about the purpose of the protests, this sums it up pretty well

This was my favorite:

I guess the job isn't copy editor

I tried to provide my own little contribution by fixing the sign.

Were, not was. It takes the subjunctive.

Anyways, the point was clearer at this expression of Occupy Houston. People are mad that the wealthy have undue influence in government and policy. People think that hard work and education should mean a well paying job. This shouldn’t be controversial. This should just be.

I’m just not sure why we’re protesting it in front of City Hall.

But when I think about it, City Hall is a good place to have a protest about government and societal priorities. Just look at it.

Beautiful building

Houston City Hall is constructed of impressive stone work and beautiful carvings that usher back to great moments of history, commanding respect and communicating dignity. We should be willing to spend money on government structures and programs that work. And City Hall works great at serving as a seat of power, at least symbolically. I’ve yet to work inside. Unfortunately, it is covered in dirt and schmutz. Too bad we can’t pay people to keep it clean.

Anyways, some people actually slept in front of City Hall overnight. We’ll see how long this lasts, and how long I have to walk down to City Hall to take my lunch.

But I would prefer that we make the necessary policy changes sooner rather than later.

Also, forgive student debt and consumer debt in a one time Jubilee Year? (Funny note: That was my Torah portion at my bar mitzvah.)

Why it is important that you go to Occupy Houston

Today I attended Occupy Houston for the second time. By the end of the day, I was the 12th angriest I have ever been.

Generally, I think the Occupy Wall Street protests are a good thing. Since the 2008 economic collapse, we have seen the perpetrators go unpunished, and policy dictated to help the top 1% over the 99%. Capitalism should work. It is not working. Politicians seem more concerned about yet-to-exist consequences from a national debt rather than already extant problems from unemployment and personal debt.

Occupy Wall Street best expresses these concerns in the We Are The 99 Percent tumblr. People are suffering during this downturn. People who worked hard, studied, and played by the rules are not getting ahead. We were sold a false set of goods, and people in power don’t seem to care.

Polls show that majority of Americans would like a raise in taxes for the rich. Politicians say not a single dollar in tax increases, no matter the done in exchange.

People want to express their frustration, and they are doing so at those who seem to benefit from national misery despite having caused it.

And personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing some changes to the capital gains tax, the estate tax, and post-Citizens United campaign financing.

So, I went to Market Square, where I often have lunch anyways, to chat.

The first day, I just walked up to introduce myself and see what they were doing.

The second day I joined. That second day can be defined by the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

The Good

The lunchtime crowd seemed to be mostly people who didn't have jobs, except the woman from NewsFix 39 who was interviewing some people I assume were leaders of sorts

When I first arrived, the group of about a dozen people was going over the underlying basis for operating the Occupy Wall Street protest, which is the Consensus System. Basically, everything has to be agreed to by a unanimous consensus. There is a flowchart to debate, and everyone gets to talk, and it is awfully inefficient. However, it does emphasize that everyone is part of the process and that we should only do what everyone can agree to. Ideally, this will focus the movement down to key issues: The 99% is struggling despite hard work. Help!

So they started a hypothetical, just to show how it goes. Some guy got up and half jokingly stated they should march in front of the police station. However, the nearby NewsFix camera freaked out the crowd, worried that their words would be twisted. So the NewsFix lady walked away, and I got up and proposed something more harmless and obviously (hopefully obviously, at least) a joke: The we adopt a Unicorn as our spirit animal.

We had pro arguments (Unicorns are graceful and powerful) and anti arguments (Unicorns are pretend and we are real), and then we had a fake vote. There were some votes against, and under actual practice, the supporters and opponents would go aside to negotiate a consensus, and then bring it back to a group vote.

Anyways, afterwards some guy gave a talk about problems of institutionalized racism, which was apparently in response to a meeting the night before when the New Black Panthers showed up, accused everyone of racism, and then left.

It was a bit silly, but it was nice to see people show up. And it was good.

Also, there is a video of it on NewsFix, with me in the background! Watch me eat a sandwich, adjust my hair, and be the only guy in a suit.

Alas. It quickly turned to bad.

The Bad

A guy in orange was next on the list to talk. He brought up the idea of having an egg timer during peoples’ speeches so they don’t ramble. I left 45 minutes later and they were still arguing the matter.

There is a reason people use Robert’s Rules of Order instead of consensus.

But alas, as this all began I decided to put myself forward as the pseudo parliamentarian during this discussion. The position had an actual name, but I forget what it is called. All I know is that when I said:

“oh, so I’m basically parliamentarian,”

I got the response:

“What’s a parliamentarian?”

My sandwich for Christopher Warrington.

Alas, when do we get to protest in front of bank buildings?

The Ugly

I walked back through the park on the way to catch the 78 bus to a Planned Parenthood fundraiser at Poison Girl. Everything about this turned out to be awful.

Initially, I just stood around, listening to people. At first, they were talking about how they need to eliminate the Federal Reserve.  I brought up how Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke recently stated that he can’t blame people involved with Occupy Wall Street for doing what they’re doing.

This got the general response of: Well, he’s just trying to distract us so we don’t blame him.

Seems to me like the Federal Reserve is the only powerful group actually trying to help the economy.

The discussion then moved on to how the government has FEMA camps and is probably ready to put us in them. The last time I heard this, it was a plot point in the X-Files movie.

And it just kept going.

I tried to start a conversation with the orange shirted egg timer guy. Apparently, he thinks that the Occupy movement will somehow overthrow the government. I don’t know how the 12 people standing in the park will attract enough people to overthrow the government, and I don’t think he does either. As the conversation continued, it seemed like he knew very little.

He first proposed that we replace current government with a way that randomized citizens would check people in power. I asked what would prevent people from organizing among themselves and forming parties, becoming the same sort of corrupt structure he opposes now.

“You can’t have corruption in chaos.”

I proposed, rather, instant runoff voting and policy that would reduce money in political campaigns, and greater barriers between the public and private sector.

He did not know what instant runoff voting was, so I got to rant about that for a while.

Still, he continued to assert that the problem was that our current government was created in 1776, before the Internet.

Ignoring just what the Internet has to do with anything, I corrected him:

“You mean 1787. The Constitution wasn’t ratified until 1787.”

He at first talked about how he didn’t remember his civics class, and then also complained as to why schools teach US history at the end of high school, when they should teach it first. I stated that I thought it was because the curriculum began at the beginning, with ancient civilizations, and then built up to the modern day. Then it got weird.

“Yeah, but they don’t cover all the ancient civilizations. What about Atlantis.”

“Haha, oh I don’t think that is real.”

“Yes it is.”

All downhill from there.

“Like, you can’t prove it. You can’t prove that dinosaurs don’t exist.”

Be still my beating heart that dinosaurs somehow are still alive, but alas, no.

“We, I can prove that below a certain level of geological strata there is a large collection of dinosaur fossils, and then after a strata line indicating high levels of material indicative of comets or asteroids, there are no more dinosaur fossils.”

“Yeah, but what if they live underground?”

“… Where?”

Then, I got to hear him actually, honestly, try to argue Hollow Earth Theory.

Now, I posited that if the earth were hollow, then where would the magnetic field that protects us from radiation come from? (though honestly I should have just gone with the gravity argument)

His answer: “We’re not alone in the universe.”

… what?!

He then instructed me to watch a video from a tethered satellite experiment from STS-75.

“What do you see?”

Uh, lights. Probably space dust?

“Space dust? Yeah, what else is up there, space geese?”

Apparently the correct answer was aliens.

Remembering my training, I resorted to my iPhone to see what the answer actually was. Admittedly, the video does look cool and crazy. And wikipedia does a good job explaining why:

“A tether is not a spherical object, and has significant extent. This means that as an extended object, it is not directly modelable as a point source, and this means that the center of mass and center of gravity are not usually colocated. Thus the inverse square law does not apply except at large distances, to the overall behaviour of a tether. Hence the orbits are not completely Keplerian, and in some cases they are actually chaotic. With bolus designs, rotation of the cable interacting with the non linear gravity fields found in elliptical orbits can cause exchange of orbital angular momentum and rotation angular momentum. This can make prediction and modelling extremely complex.”

And if you listen to the astronauts talking, the particles are debris from the break in the tether.

Anyways, at this point, I yelled at him that he was crazy and he was going to lose a lot of people he would want on his side and then I stormed off to wait for the 78 bus that was 30 minutes late I hate you Metro Houston.

In conclusion, Occupy Houston is currently filled with crazy people who want to End the Fed, think that the earth is possibly hollow and filled with dinosaurs, think specs of light is proof of aliens, and think that we should and will overthrow the government, but not via elections.

And think that the constitution was written in 1776.

Which is why you should go to Occupy Houston.

There are legitimate issues facing the nation. There are problems with the social contract. It is supposed to be that if you work hard, play by the rules, and get a good education, you will get ahead. Now, you just get a lot of debt. But rather than focus on the problems facing the 99%, government seems focused on the issues facing the top 1%.

It is time to get some attention. It is time to hold banks responsible for the problems they have caused. It is time for sane people to say that something is wrong.

So please, don’t let me be the only one at the next meeting who actually wants to change policy.

Rick Perry through the lens of Austin

I’ve only ever lived in Austin for a summer at a time. First, after sophomore year of college, when I was an intern at Texas Monthly magazine. I lived in one of those spoiled college kid tenements right off the drag where I had my own bathroom and never talked to the two asian roommates who spent the whole time playing World of Warcraft. I still owe them for a cable bill.

The next time was after 2L year of law school, when I was an intern with the ACLU of Texas. That time, I sublet from a friend who lived in an apartment complex that was about 75% Hispanic families. It may not have been on the drag, but I sure did enjoy reading by the pool every weekend.

The point is, despite the stereotypes about Austin, it is a large, diverse city. However, even within the central University of Texas, 6th Street, Clicheland, Austin is still no homogenous Xanadu that people not from Texas bring up when you say you’re from Texas. In my limited experience, there are two sides to that Plantoic ideal of Austin. The Austin What Were. And the Austin What Is.

The Austin What Were is that fairytale land where ex-hippies, proto-hipsters, marijuana and music fans of all types could live on the cheap, just playing instruments and making music when they’re not working in coffee shops. Everyone misses this Austin. Even if it never actually existed, or still exists.

The Austin What Is is the feeling of being the only Rice fan at a University of Texas bar, looking out on the sea of bros and peroxide, the burnt orange polos only slightly darker than the faces tanned not from Zilker Park but rather the free tanning beds that the $1000/month student apartments provide. But in spite of that, they’re all affable young fellows.

Today, I stumbled upon two YouTube music videos about Texas Governor and Presidential candidate Rick Perry. One was created by Austin What Were. One was created by Austin What Is.

I’ll leave you to guess which is which.

Now, I am certainly no fan of Rick Perry, but my biases are obvious. However, through the gift of Twitter and Facebook, these two videos appeared today at almost the exact same time, without request (The Internet is Magic).  The juxtaposition of the two videos seems to say something about Austin.

Things that are anti-Semitic because they’re planned on Rosh Hashana

1. Houston Metro’s budget hearing.

Metro is having a budget hearing this Thursday. While they ask for public comment on their books, I’ll be at synagogue, being written in the Book of Life.

And you what else trains were used for? To bring people to concentration camps!

2. #OccupyHouston

On Thursday, anti-Wall Street (or anti-casino-style Wall Street, or whatever) organizers will assemble in Market Square Park as some sort of pre-protest planning session. I often have lunch at that Niko Nikos.

You know who else rallied against bankers? Nazis!


Those are all the things that are anti-Semitic.

Rice v Purdue: Top 5 overheards

Yesterday, Rice beat Purdue. A C-USA team beat a Big 10 team, huzzah! The last time Rice at home defeated a team from a conference that automatically qualifies for a BCS bowl since Rice beat Duke in 2001. Of course, one of the best parts about playing a school that actually cares about its football program, besides beating them and making their fans and players cry, is sheer contrast of the crowds. This always leads to entertaining conversations to overhead in the audience, or read via Tweets. Anyways, here in no particular order are my top 5 Overheards or Tweets from the game

5. “Look at that kid” [Points to a Rice student taking pictures from the top of the stadium] “What’s he doing? He must be some kind of ‘tard. Der der der!” — Said by an drunk, overweight Purdue fan in a helmet that was too small for his fat head.

4. “Yes! Rice just beat Purdue in American Football!” — A University of Texas student doing his impression of a Rice student

3. “And while UT has it’s own brand of water, Rice University has it’s own brand of beer,” [showing Saint Arnold on screen] — Rice MOB show

2. “I don’t care if miller light is union made, it is still undrinkable swill” — Overheard in the Rice beer pen

1. “A classy @ricemob sketch for halfime saluting JSC & @NASA …classiness only explained by the script being rewritten by Rice Public Affairs! — Tweet by @expatminister.

Rice University, not University of Houston, belongs in the Big 12

How many Aggies does it take to move a school from the Big 12 to the SEC? I don’t know, but why would Texas A&M want to join the Securities and Exchange Commission?

Anyways, Texas A&M (is that another name for SMU, as my New York grandmother asked) isn’t going anywhere. But that hasn’t stopped talk about college sports realignments. While the conversation should have ended with the SEC’s rejection of A&M, diehard University of Houston boosters just won’t shut up about how they deserve to be in the Big 12.

Most recently, State Rep. Garnet Coleman wrote a letter to Chairman of the House Committee on Higher Education Dan Branch encouraging the University of Houston to replace A&M in case of any move. (pdf: ChairmanBranch UH big 12)

But if any Houston-based C-USA team belongs in the Big 12, it is Rice.

Why? Because of the crazy arguments I can make right here.

1. Rice has a bigger endowment

First of all, Rice has a bigger endowment. While I didn’t think this was an issue, but the Wikipedia article about the Big 12 Conference seems to imply otherwise. Simply by specifically listing endowment, the article implies that it is an important criteria.

Rice University has an endowment of $4.1 billion. Now that’s a hefty package right there, especially in contrast to UH’s wimpy $553 million. Rice would be number 3, but UH would find itself behind even Texas Tech.

Let’s just face it,  Rice is better endowed than UH.

Advantage: Rice

Rice 1 UH 0.

2. Rice has a bigger football stadium

Currently, the smallest football stadium in the Big 12 is Baylor University’s Floyd Casey Stadium, which holds 50,000. As is the university’s custom, UH would come far below this already low minimum, with Robertson Stadium holding merely 32,000. That is less than Rice University’s old Rice Field.

Rice Stadium, on the other hand, currently holds 50,000 and is expandable to 70,000.

Plus, Rice Stadium has already held a Super Bowl, and was the site of President Kennedy’s “We Will Go to the Moon” speech. What has Robertson Stadium had? Uh, an AFL championship game.

Advantage: Rice

Rice 2 UH 0

3. Rice has a bigger baseball field

Rice’s consistently successful baseball team plays in the beautiful Reckling Park, which seats 5,368, larger than all but 4 of the Big 12 baseball parks.  UH also has a baseball team, apparently. It plays in Cougar Field, which merely holds 5,000.

Advantage: Rice

Rice 3 UH 0

4. Rice has a better athletics attendance ratio

In 2009, Rice had an average attendance per football game of 13,552. In the same year, UH had an average attendance of 25,242. UH may seem to have the advantage here … if you suck at critical thinking. But the fact of the matter is that Rice does a much better job at getting fans to turn out than UH does.

Rice is able to average 13,552 fans to football games with but 5,760. On the other hand, UH has a total student body of 38,752 yet can only get a football turnout of 25,242. Rice demonstrates the ability to get fans and support from beyond campus in a way that UH merely cannot. While Rice can get more than double of its student body to show up, UH can’t even get the whole campus to turn out to games.

What a weak and pathetic show of support. What a lack of athletic potency. Poorly endowed indeed.

I bet UH can’t even get UH student James Franco to turn out to games.

Furthermore, while Rice has an attendance : student body ratio (ASB) of 2.35. UH has an ASB of merely .65. Rice’s ratio is more than 3.5 times greater than UH’s. Now that is a show of real team support and talent. Assuming static ASB, if Rice were the size of UH, it could get football crowds of more than 91,000. This is the sort of number that belongs in the Big 12.

Advantage: Rice.

Rice 91,000 UH 0

In conclusion, Rice belongs in the Big 12. Let’s make this happen.

Oslo Bomber says he likes Texas

With the death of Osama bin Laden, the title of Biggest Terrorist was up for grabs. Everyone was betting on another brown or Muslim guy, but the other day we all learned otherwise in a horrible terrorist attack in Oslo. In a bombing and shooting that seemed to target specific future leaders in Norway’s more liberal party, a blonde European Christian terrorist left 92 people dead.

Congrats, asshole. You're the new face of terrorism!

Apparently, the enemy was “multiculturalism” and Islam, and this was Anders Behring Breivik’s attack.

But he didn’t just leave behind corpses and charred buildings for us to peer upon in mourning as he waits for his trial. He also left a 1500 page rambling manifesto in which he calls for a war between a Christian Europe and Islam.

A manifesto calling for ethnic cleansing and war in Europe? Oooh, oooh, Godwin’s Law!

Seriously, if he had his way, his little weird U-beard would be the 21st century toothbrush mustache.

I haven’t had a chance to read the whole thing (pdf: Anders Behring Breivik manifesto), which the terrorist titled “2083: A European Declaration of Independence.” However, a quick search found a few references to my dear home state of Texas. His comment? He likes it!

 I did enjoy Las Vegas as well but I really dislike the superficial aspects of American society. The American state I found least superficial was Texas.

You hear that guys? When asked about his favorite destination, this terrorist said Texas! Well, not as favorite. But we’re at least somewhere that wasn’t as superficial as the rest of the country.

I guess he’s never been to Dallas?

So yeah, terrorist writes a manifesto about war and ethnic cleansing in Europe and sees no problem with killing children for political aims.

So…. Never Again?