Tag Archives: law school

What do you do with a BA in History?

Today I found myself in a very familiar situation. Someone’s brother/sister/friend/self is thinking of going to law school.

“No!” Evan yelled, as the patrons of Inversion coffee looked up slightly to see what the commotion was, especially that one cute girl who was like totally checking him out. “Don’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“Because the legal economy is shit. It isn’t a guaranteed job. Unless you know exactly what you want to do, or are going to a very top law school, you’re risking throwing away lots of time and money.”

“Well what’s a good job for someone with a degree in History.”

I don’t know.

Twitter had some ideas, though.

Well, right now I’m doing it backwards.

First is supposed to come the attempt at fulfilling the dream career. Work for the Thresher forever? Opinion journalism? Comedy writing?

Then, if that fails, go for the pragmatic moneymaking operation with the lifelong goal of a steady, if possibly rewarding, career. Law school!

Of course, I did it backwards. So here I am, a member of the Texas bar (once they get my check) trying to freelance write and fulfill my eudaimonic purpose.

But first I have to face the same problem I always have: Getting my butt in the chair and freakin’ writing. (Not to mention all the half-written blog entires)

So what is the plan C after the plan A after the plan B? I guess Twitter has the answer: History teacher.

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A final Jurist column: I’m gettin’ too old for this yoga shit

Just when I thought I was out, they drag me back in.

After a leisurely day of walking to Union Square for kale, and then down to Washington Square Park to enjoy my free sample of pita chips and hummus, the Jurist EIC gives me a ring and asks if I want to write one final column.

Apparently, the Cardozo Dean of Career Services announced he was leaving to become a yoga instructor of some such. And in a surprising moment of pro-active journalism, the Jurist decided to cover it even though the year was over. In addition to news coverage, they wanted some commentary, too. Leading, of course, to some very important questions. Such as: Didn’t that asshole graduate already?

Anyways, here is my column, reposted, and obviously not copy-edited. I think I use three different styles for writing Cardozo Dean of Career Services.

Max Fischer said that the key to happiness is finding something you love to do and then doing it for the rest of your life.

I would guess that Dean Fama has found happiness.

In an open letter to Cardozo, Fama explained that he will be leaving his position as Dean of Career Services to merge his yoga and career counseling experience by developing yoga and relaxation programs for lawyers and law students.

But for the rest of us, it often feels like happiness is slightly out of reach. Heck, a legal job with a salary that will let one make student loan payments will suffice.

But Fama’s project sounds very interesting, and I have many questions about it. For example: Is he hiring?

Indeed, there is a bit of an image problem when a law school’s Dean of career services leaves for a non-legal job. Although that seems to be the new standard: go to law school but then not get a job in the legal industry. Of course, this begs the question of why go to law school in the first place?

Well, the free yoga classes weren’t bad.

Admittedly, Fama’s relaxation techniques are a great way to deal with the still tightening legal market and overall stress of the legal industry. But I can think of a great way to relieve student stress without resorting to mystical breathing techniques of the Orient.

Jobs.

So as Cardozo begins the search for a new Dean of Career Services, I have a recommendation. We’ve had a yoga instructor, and that was great. But this time, let’s try out a weightlifter.

Rather than teach students how to relax when we don’t get jobs, the next dean of career services should help students build the muscle necessary to shovel through the layers of bullshit it takes to get a job these days. We need a terrifying, muscle-bound dean to run around 55 5th ave, yelling at girlymen students about how they need to pump up their resumes. Instead of teaching students how to be flexible, Cardozo needs someone to help mold students into perfect specimens of legal Adonises. The point of law school is to get a law job. Cardozo should find someone who lives, eats and breathes the legal industry, and then turns it into a powder form that he can mix into a smoothie and jam it down students’ throats.

Law students are supposed to be adults who can take care of their own problems. But if OCS has demonstrated anything, it is that many students won’t take the proper job search steps without someone there to hold their hands. The next dean needs to embrace this duty with full intensity, taking those hands and forcing them to write cover letters until they have jobs, not unlike handcuffing a fat kid to a treadmill.

So as we 3L’s cross the stage at graduation, often jobless and in debt, I cannot help but wonder whether we, too, will one day match Dean Fama’s happiness.

Well, I may not have a job, but I wrote for the Cardozo Jurist. What did you ever do?

Please give me, Evan, a job

Today the Jurist released its last issue of my law school career. Or as I like to call the past three years: a mistake. But what’s done is done. I’ve made my bed, and now I have to weasel my way out of it. So rather than buckle down, get good grades, and do whatever it takes to get a job, I did what I do best: write a snarky column.

I’m pretty proud of this column, which I wrote instead of my back up plan: advocating for the American Psychiatric Association to rename narcissistic personality disorder as “Evan’s Disease” in the DSM-V.

Anyways, I suppose it is sort of a suicide note for law school, but in a good way. The tone and jokes slowly build to a climactic moment, and I hope that moment is obvious. Admittedly, the overall column style was directly inspired by an old Dylan Farmer sports  column in the Rice Thresher. And by “inspired,” I mean I stole the idea.

Here is my final column for the Cardozo Jurist, “Hey, Employer! Have You Heard About Evan Mintz? No? Read This Column” (pdf: Mintz Jurist hire me)

Another Evan column, and a reaction from the Dean

First, thanks to Roxanna Maisel, whose line “I know lots of things, but most of them are wrong,” I stole for this column.

The Cardozo Jurist came out yesterday, and I have another column in it. Because the paper only comes out monthly, each column needs to be a real barn burner. No time to waste precious column space on pot or masturbating. I have a list of the big wheels at the law school, and each column will address one. Last month was the Dean, this month is law journals. And you can read all about it at the Jurist website! Or here. Or whatever. (pdf: Mintz oct column)

In addition to my column, the Dean wrote a response to my column from the previous issue, in which I accused him of general cowardice when it came to gay rights. Of course my column was mean, blunt and over the top. It was written by me, Evan! However, it does raise the question of whether gay rights should be viewed as a political matter or as one of civil and human rights. I think that it unequivocally should be the latter, and there is no room for compromise. A general written statement does not have the authority of a public statement, which I guess the Dean made in this letter. So I’m glad I could force him into that position, or some such.

Also, notice the redesign of the newspaper! It looks pretty darn cool. They finally bought inDesign.