Tag Archives: Venture Brothers

Five twist endings for current TV shows that need to happen

Twist ending for a popular TV show? That’s preposterous, is what you would say if you had never heard of St. Elsewhere. If a medical drama can end with the whole thing being the twisted fantasy of an autistic child, then certainly popular TV shows today can have twist endings as well. Here are my ideas.

The Venture Brothers

The Monarch kills Dr. Venture. The Venture Brothers die after being attacked by a giant spider, but this time without any clones and so are dead forever. The Alchemist dies of AIDS. Brock dies while attempting to protect David Bowie from a coup by Lady Gaga, who becomes the new Sovereign.

30 Rock

It turns out that the head writer for TGS was actually Aaron Sorkin the whole time! The last scene is Liz cursing out God a unitarian church.

Fringe

Walter and the Walternate find a way to save both universes by diverting the Fringe Event energy into two pocket dimensions they discover via a vortex in a rural Washington State town. Walter comments on the damn fine coffee and pie. Agent Boyles learns of FBI records describing a bald, pale man from another world helping an agent in Twin Peaks during the 1980s, and comes to the conclusion that this so-called “Giant” was actually an Observer.

Unfortunately, following both the town’s history of FBI agents going mad and her own history of being possessed (by both Fauxlivia’s memories and Dr. Bell), Olivia is taken over for a third time by an evil soul from one of the pocket dimensions. The last scene is Olivia brushing her teeth, laughing maniacally in a mirror “How’s Peter?!” How’s Peter?!”

Mad Men

Don Draper finally confronts the core of his problem with women: he is gay. After Sally is killed at Kent state, and Bobby dies in Vietnam, Don takes his own life. As revenge to the Advertising Industry that sucked his life dry, Draper leaves behind a time bomb revenge scheme in the form of his final advertising idea: Erin Esurance!

C-SPAN

C-SPAN concludes its decades of covering politics by revealing that the supposed politicians and representatives on camera were actually actors. In the wake of the Watergate scandal, the Supreme Court decided that American democracy simply was not sustainable and decided to seize control by fiat under the cover of this greatest hoax of all time. Led by head writer William Rehnquist, who would later be joined by David E. Kelley and Aaron Sorkin Michael Bay, C-SPAN capitalized on the idea of letting viewers choose which characters would be on each season, an idea which was later found greater success in the hit show, “American Idol.”

While C-SPAN has been critiqued for jumping the shark with some of its more ridiculous plots, such as Iran Contra, the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Bush v. Gore, and the shooting of Gabrielle Gifford (which was derided as a ripoff of season 8 of Dallas), the show’s longevity is a testament to its constant fan base.

In the last scene, President Beau Biden will finally push the mysterious “Red Button,” and the screen will cut to black mid-sentence, a la The Sopranos.

Advertisements

Cigarettes are not magic, comma, don’t mess with Texas.

I wrote a column. The style reminds me a lot of my later work on the Thresher, where I had a point, but only through a layer of jokes or metaphors. I didn’t know what I was going to write for this issue, and then suddenly the topic came to me after the first day of the semester and I saw overflowing ash trays and cigarette butts all over the sidewalk in front of Cardozo. Honestly, majority of the time writing this column was spent trying to determine the perfect band to fit the tableau of a high school, weeknight concert. Some people recommended the Strokes, but I thought it was a bit too mainstream. Joy Division was too old. Republica, I think, was a good choice and also a subtle Venture Brothers reference.

Once I got through there, the rest flowed pretty well. The cigarette fairy part is stolen from Brett and Dan, though I think any jokes coming from 251 are officially joint works under WIPO. Honestly, this is a column I have been wanting to write since junior year at Rice, when we would mock the girls and their gay friend who smoked cigarettes outside the Hanszen servery, and then just throw their butts on the ground.

And the part about cigarettes as some Antionettian opulence is stolen directly from an IM conversation with Sara Franco.

Originally, the column had a different ending, but I wanted something punchier, and was reminded of an old commercial titled “Jimmy,” about a kid who just goes around collecting old cigarette butts. And it is nice to remember that Don’t Mess With Texas is an anti-littering campaign. Now only if fracking, or pollution, were considered littering.

Anyways, my column from this month’s Cardozo Jurist: Cigarettes are not magic, don’t mess with Texas. (pdf: Mintz cigarette texas column)

Another Evan Mintz column for the cardozo jurist, this time about littering

Burn Down the Outrider

A few great moments from today’s Venture Brothers – The Better Man

The monster from the second world looks just like Cthulu

The cutout of Matthew Lesko

Orpheus’ ex-wife is hot.

“Can I pet your pussy?”
“There’s no irony in that, is there?”

Dean’s suit returns. I want that suit.

“I look like Rufio”

Hank giving Dean tips at the mall about picking up girls reveals that he has obviously read The Game or some other piece of pickup artist drivel.

“By wings of light, by day or night, we make our flight.”

So the Dean and Triana relationship comes to an end. However, her training hints that speculation about a super-villain future could be true. But I think we’re all waiting for the return of Kim, who wanted to be a super-villain and arch Hank.

Sometimes I get skeptical of the Venture Brothers, fearing that its just descending into the pop-culture reference and “oooh, I recognize that!” humor that is so popular (See Family Guy, or any sort of [fill in the blank] Movie)

But Venture Brothers does have a theme of fiction reflecting reality. After all the Rusty Venture cartoon is a cartoon based on the actual adventures of Rusty Venture. Its meta. Reminds me of Watchmen.

Is Giant Boy Detective the Venture version of Tales of the Black Freighter?

Then again, cultural references are at times funny, but not only that, accurate. Only on TV shows do people not make constant cultural references. Looking at my own kitchen, I could imagine a hilarious TV scenario where someone goes “Sorry, all I’ve got to eat is Mountain Dew and some Whey Protein Powder from Trader Joes.” Cultural reference, yes. But accurate.

So what makes the jokes work so well for Venture brothers is that they’re part of the dialogue, rather than distracting from the plot, as in Family Guy and many other shows. Furthermore, the references are specific and obscure enough that they don’t pander to the general public. The Henry Darger reference from the previous episode was inspired. More than anything, Venture Brothers knows its audience.